Featured Artist * NAM 

FancyJLondon ©2015 All Rights Reserved This is a bio feature representing artist and survivor Nam. This person chose to not reveal their identity for personal reasons.

  
 I go by the name of NAM, I am a 32 year old male who survived 20 years of abuse by an alcoholic, drug fiend family who physically and mentally assaulted me on daily basis for about two decades. 
One day I decided that I wanted a family. I married the wrong woman during college. She had planned to ride out my heart and my student loans, then leave me when college was finished. Yet, before receiving the divorce papers, she was already involved with another man. They pawned her $6000 ring, (I bought) for $175. bucks. 

After a hard lesson learned, I was left with forty-two dollars, my bicycle, and shell shocked. Going from abused, to a college/family man, to a graduate and then, to… divorced and homeless all in one felt swoop. 

  
Wandering, place to situations, blissful to nightmarish, real folks to sterile shelters, (if I got to them on time). I indulged the tempting, luscious, and the appalling this country offers for free, but before long I found myself a drug addict.
Ashamed, to be like my father, I panhandled, and in a couple of weeks afforded a hotel room, for only two days. Sobriety I did, Somehow, thankfully! Then found a job paying $7.59 an hour, still a job. One manager let me stay at his house until I got an apartment. I Lived there for three months, finally able to find my own place.

I paid him back in FULL plus some! What a Great Man!!!

Around 2 to 3 months after being hired, I was crossing the highway and, an SUV hit me … Going 50 m.p.h. (Yes, I had the right-a-way)! The driver was ticketed and I had a long harsh four years of standing back up. Physical therapy, pain clinics, needles, injections, and 5 surgeries within a year and a half of each other and 2 more recently, making it 7 in total only with more to come.

  
I live with chronic pain, (RSD) excessive damage in both my hips and shoulder. Lost my job, my health insurance, my home and, I’m permanently disabled. My blessings that come out of all my anguish and suffering are my loving fiancé and my wonderful, caring step-son, that has adopted me. They have stayed by my side through ALL! Two rarities arriving into my life during the struggles, surgeries, and the death of my abusive father.

I decided to pour all of my pain and suffering into something beautiful, ART! 

I create abstract colorful dark imagery with mystically alluring details. You can find my art on my website about.me/the_nam_nation for fair prices. 

Here are a few examples:

  
   
 

Feel free to follow me on twitter @the_nam_nation 

What I have acquired through all my devastating experiences has become priceless.

• Teaching me consistency and genuine unconditional love.

• Encouraging me to live life leaving all negativity in the past.

• Learning how to live in a normal environment.

• Proudly remaining drug free and humble through it all.

“I want to thank FancyJ London for featuring me she has really inspired me and I am grateful to have had a chance to know her. To my fiancé and step-son for all their love and support. To my friends, and all who have actively supported me on social media from around the world…I hope this inspires you.” -NAM 
 

About The Author: FancyJ London  

Producer, RecordingArtist, Singer, Songwriter, Model, Writer, Avid Blogger, Columnist, Owner of “Revista Fancy” Newsletter, Photographer, Fashion Designer/Illustrator, Artist/Cartoonist, Founder of CoreFancy, Corazul, and Walk with Me Nonprofit organization, Social Networking Butterfly, Traveler, and Gemini! 

“I believe we as artists must support our fellow talented wandering souls out there to reach the stars! The best success comes when you unite, not divide!” ~FancyJ

fancyjlondon@gmail.com

http://www.fancyjlondon.com

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Father

FancyJLondon ©2015

Father I like having hurt, cause that’s what you do
You send the pain below, where I need it
You used to beg me to take, care of things
and smile at the thought of me always failing
But Father long before, having hurt
You send the below
Father
Send the pain below

Much like suffocating, much like suffocating
Ooh, Much like suffocating
Oooh….. you suffocate me

You used to run me away, with all your sarcasm
and I cry about it everyday, even today
Father
Long before having hurt
You send the pain below
Father you send the pain below

Much like suffocating Ooh I’m suffocating
Ooh you suffocate me, Ooh you suffocate me
Much like suffocating…..

You suffocate me
I can’t feel my chest
I can’t breathe
There’s a hole in me

I can’t breathe
I can’t feel my chest
There’s no heart in me
I can’t breathe………………………………………………………..

Father I like having, so much hurt….. OOh
Father send the pain below
Father send the pain below….. Oooh
Ooh Father I’m hurting so
You don’t even care
You don’t even care
I’m suffocating, you suffocate me
Send the pain below…….

https://youtu.be/gKo00L86t9g

I was OK, til I met You

Written By: FancyJ London ©2014 

Strong, independent, tough
Opinionated, self-reliant, rough
I wasn’t going to fall in love
No~~~~~~

Go where I please, drop to my knees
Get drunk, til I lose my keys
Laugh it up, breakdown
I never cared who was around

Get up late, dance all day
Runaway to another country
My life was an amusement park
Roaming free, in the dark
Missing, then come back
Party so hard, had a heart attack

I was OK, til I met you!
Why did you poison my heart
You broke me, walls just part
You were no good, from the start
But I fell so, Friggan HARD

Pass out in the car
Go on a plane, somewhere far
Sit at the beach, hear the waves
This is better, than being a slave

Street race, speeding up
Shopping, til I had enough
Flirting, dressing hot
Never wishing, just get what I want
Chose, to be alone
Was happiest, on my own
Then, you came along……

I was OK, til I met you!
Why did you poison my heart
You broke me, walls just part
You were no good from the start
But I fell so, Friggan HARD

IMG_1031.JPG

Pills

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FancyJLondon ©2014

Suck it down, pass it on
This pain may never be gone
They ask you what is wrong
You respond with the same old song
I’m fine, nodding my head
Though I’m torn up into shreds
No one would wish to be in my bed

All I remembered now seems crazy
and has suddenly turned hazy
Reaching for the pills,
Running for the hills
Forget all the dues
and stop paying my bills
I’m jumping off the brink
heading down the sink
This isn’t at all
what you would think

Chasing me lately,
Ask what my fate be
Choosing carefully,
put me down hatefully
Picking up my pills now
ever so gracefully

It’s so deceptive
One moment from the next
Feeling like failing
without my happy fix
Up in the clouds
you can’t hurt me now

Cranking up the stereo
Laughing till my voice goes
Light up the candle
Set off the mantle
Blaze up the night
Pop my pills and start a fight
Pretty soon I’ll be on my flight
From there on after it’ll be alright
Keep popping em until there is no light

Slice IT UP

20140812-100737.jpg

Written By: FancyJ London ©2014 
Grab it firmly, watch it pulse
Lean in for, an extra dose
Gushing red, running cold
Better do it quickly
Before it explodes

Slice it up
Dice it up
Stab it hard
Watch gush
Ok…now, that’s enough

God, it’s black
Feel the wrath
This to, shall pass
Running scared
From all you feared
You brought it out with a blade
now you must feel my rage

Your killing it, driving over
now you’ve shown
that your even colder
forever looking
over your shoulder
for what you’ve done
you shall always RUN

Slice it up
Dice it up
Stab it hard
Watch gush
Ok now, that’s enough
That’s enough, THAT’S ENOUGH…

Blame

FancyJLondon ©2014

B-eautiful beast full of lies, I fall every time

L-ove is non existent as a rose with its thorns, yet you still have your way with me

A-ll leads to heartbreak with this scar on my back I saw it coming, yet I ignored the fact

M-emories are all I hold inside knowing it was a total waste of my valuable time

E-ven as I lay here in the reality pain I hold only myself to blame

Lets Play

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FancyJpoetry 

Written By: FancyJ London ©2014

You think you got me, with your stare
You think you know me, as if I care
You just want something, that’s how it is… I’m not your toy to be played with

You walk your walk, tall and boastful
You whistle, looking up and down
No respect will ever be found
You want to wreck my soul,
until I have nothing left
My innocence will be kept

I am not a foolish young thing,
that opens up for every man
You think I’m easy…your so wrong
I never fall for the sleazy

I rather stay single, than mingle
I know your type,
saying your different you’ll never play with me and all that hype
Declaring love for this one and that
When I see and I know,
that you are all bad
Come near me, I dare you
this time I hold the deck
you are about to get wrecked
Lets play cowboy,
what do you say?
Who crying now, who asking how
Who wants to end the game now
Sorry baby, I am 100 points ahead
Hope karma smacks the hell out of your BIG head.

Red Tape

Image

FancyJLyrics

Written by: FancyJ London ©2013
Walking down a path…. I can’t enter

Driving down a street always come up…. on a dead end

Trying to jump over….the caution tape

Standing in front of ….a bolted door

Wanting to use something,

but find it locked up in chains

I can’t take this rejection,

I am going insane

Red tape all over the place 

Stop signs in front of my face

Blockades all over the place

So sick of constantly hearing NO

Slowly making me want to let GO

Outside my house in the bitter cold…. without my key

The store owner suddenly turn his sign to closed….when I pull up

Red light at every intersection….always a train on the tracks

I can’t seem get a break…in my lonely pathetic path

So tired of my life…. being like that

Red tape all over the place 

Stop signs in front of my face

Blockades all over the place

So sick of constantly hearing NO

Slowly making me want to let GO

Want to let go so want to let go 

Matter of Time

FancyJLyrics

Written by: FancyJ London ©2013

Image

Life is so perfect for everyone, but me…

People with smiles, thanking God on their knees,

oh please, oh please,

stop flaunting your beautiful existence in front of me,

oh please, oh please……

It’s just a matter of time, before the lights go out.

The thought of death, just doesn’t scare me now.

It’s just a matter of time, before I lose my mind.

It’s a matter of time, before I say goodbye…

cause I’m….. not feeling this life.

Walks in the park, seeing lover’s holding hands.

I never even get a date, or time with my man.

Broadcasting special moments all over the place,

I am damn lucky if I get a birthday cake.

Oh Please….. stop hurting me…

Oh Please….. show me I’m worthy…

It’s just a matter of time, before the lights go out.

The thought of death, just doesn’t scare me now.

It’s just a matter of time, before I lose my mind.

It’s a matter of time, before I say goodbye…

cause I’m….. not feeling this life.

It’s almost over and you don’t care,

time is passing I’m almost there….

and no one, NO ONE CARES!!!!

It’s just a matter of time, before the lights go out.

The thought of death, just doesn’t scare me now.

It’s just a matter of time, before I lose my mind.

It’s a matter of time, before I say goodbye…

cause I’m….. not feeling this life.

Quarry’s Edge

Image


The view is beautiful as I stand on the edge


Looking straight not at the plunge of death


Blind I proceed into what I think is love


Not realizing I can’t take flight, like a small dove


His professions of love make me believe


As I plummet towards the rocks with my mistaken steps


He looks at me without emotion, as I fall into a forever black potion


For his love was never a notion.

FancyJ London ©2014